cream puff.........

Today I really, really, really wanted to eat a cream puff. I have no idea why. I thought of it early in the day, and the thought never left me.

The problem is, there is no cream puff sold anywhere on our campus. So I settled on buying either cupcakes at Sprinkles or cream puffs at the grocery store on my way home. Thus I set myself to fantasizing for the rest of the day.

But of course, there was no way I was going to be able to put off having cream puffs until the end of the day. So, naturally, I caved. The substitute I thought of was the Madagascar Vanilla Freddo (with whip) from Peet's coupled with a chocolate scone.

Bad, bad. Glutens everywhere. (Of course, the only gluten-free option I'd thought of anyway were the gluten-free cupcakes from Sprinkles...but still.)

Anyway, on my way home I looked for cream puffs at the grocery store. But get this—they weren't there. Not at Whole Foods, not at Ralphs, not even frozen kinds at Trader Joe's. ???

So now I am determined to make shortcakes from the Babycakes cookbook instead, just to win out this battle of the cream puffs. Of course, shortcakes aren't quite cream puffs, but I don't think I can make those myself gluten-free and have them turn out edible. So shortcakes they will have to be. At least with plenty of whipped cream, I won't be able to tell the difference.

(Ah, cream puffs...in Japan we call them Choux Creme. One day, one day...)

fall colors, giving thanks

Although I'm not hugely into Thanksgiving, it was nice to spend the long weekend with my parents. Buddy drove us up on Wednesday and we returned Sunday, which gave us all plenty of opportunities to eat lots of good food (which is what my family does best).

There was no turkey to be had by us, but we did have a tasty Vietnamese shrimp curry, along with our traditional casseroles (yum!). Other nights we had fish—lots and lots of fish. Most of it was raw. This is how Japanese people give thanks, I think.

Buddy and I also took a couple of strolls through the neighborhood, and although California just isn't that good with the leaves turning, it was nice to see the existence of some flora around the block. My parents also had some nice roses, mums, bell peppers, eggplants...oh, the joys of having a productive garden.

The next wave of holidays will be here in no time, but for now I am thankful for good family, good friends, and good health of those around me. Finals week, here I come!

miscegenation!!!

jajaja, i know, that's a horrible thing to say. but i'd always wanted to try mismatching my rice ball makers, and now that i've done it, i think they look a little weird...like couplings that just aren't natural...

i got these rice ball makers from my aunt, who was in the process of cleaning out her house. if you can't see them, they say Tokyo Disney Resort on them. clearly the folks at Tokyo Disney are interested in people making rice balls more efficiently...

actually, that is the sense i get from most companies and most products sold in japan. people want things faster, more efficient, more instant, more...whatever. it's such a small country and people need to get as much done in the shortest amount of time and smallest amount of physical space possible...it's kind of overwhelming.

(of course, i spent most of my time in tokyo this last time, so maybe if i go back to the inaka part of the country where i grew up, things will be different...)

砂糖っす！

なぜか今日は、一日中甘い物が食べたくてしょうがありません。何か病気みたいっす。

そいでですね、甘い物と言うと、やっぱりこだわるのは砂糖なんすよ。最近砂糖よりメープルシロップの方が料理に使う事が多いんすけど、もし砂糖だったら、この間日本で買った粗糖が好きですね。

友達と一緒に行った『酢飯屋』。なにしろ美味しくて、美味しくて、毎日そこで食べられるお金があったら、ホント毎日そこで食べてます。で、帰る前にそこで買った粗糖が、こだわりの品。柔らか〜い甘さで、なんとなくクリーミー。煮物にもいいし、もちろんお菓子作りにも。見てるだけでもうっとりする、名前通りの黄金色です。

砂糖だけでなく、他にも売ってるので、皆さんもどうぞ〜。

if being a boy means...

...i can drink out of the carton, then i would be one.

lately i've gotten into drinking milk straight out of the carton. there is something so simple about it—i suppose it's in eliminating the step of pouring it into a glass. (it's also probably because lately i've been eating spicy things, and i've been needing milk, at hand and accessible, one too many times.)
  
what i am reminded of then is the part in Nicholson Baker's The Mezzanine where the narrator talks about milk cartons, and how he finds their openings just the right shape and size to invite bringing one's nose close to it—this, of course, is an anxious gesture, since usually one does it to see if the milk is still good. (the narrator's partner cannot understand how he can bring himself to do that...but of course, that's the lure of the milk carton opening...)

연습 해야 돼요...

어제 오후 우리 학과에서 와타나베 교수님이 한국사람의 작가가 쓴 일본어 문학 대해서 발표 했습니다. 그 다음에 교수님들하고 대학원생들이 같이 저녁을 먹으러 근처의 식당에 갔습니다.

교수님들은 한국어로 이야기 하고있었어서 저도 한국어로 말해 봤습니다. 하지만 한국어로 말 하기는 정말 정말 어렵습니다. 친절하는 교수님들은 저를 도와주셨지만, 저는 손과 표정으로 대화를 해야 됐습니다.

그렇지만 어젯밤의 저녁 때문에 저는 한국어로 이야기 하기를 연습 하는 것을 결정했습니다. 그래서 여기서도 앞으로 이렇게 쓸 거예요. 이건 많이 시간이 필요 합니다...  

(이 사진은 서도호의 "추락한 별" 입니다. 화요일에 건물의 위에 크레인으로 놓았습니다. "추락한 별" 은 스튜어트 콜렉션의 제일 새로운 조각 입니다. 이 조각은 집이 없는 사람들을 상징 합니다.)

fengshui...

it was another late night on campus (well...not too late, i was gone before the sprinklers started), so on my way home i took a commemorative photo of one of our many campus fountains. this one's on library walk near student health. and though it's not much of a looker during the day, there was something rather inviting about it late in the evening...

i wonder what it is about fountains and flowing water, the way they calm us down, draw us in. it's certainly a notable element in eastern cultures, but is there a similar counterpart in western cultures? i can think of bubbling brooks and placid lakes (wait...lake placid...isn't that a shark night movie? oh geez...), but i wonder if there is a similar kind of cultural significance placed on water (or wind or fire or wood or metal or earth...). is there a religious significance, perhaps? hmm...

Why some of us teach

Today I got surprise visits from two of my students from last year. Whee! They totally made my day, and I was really happy as I headed off to a book discussion late in the afternoon. :)

Just as exciting, last night Buddy and I went to dinner at Nozomi with two of my students from three years ago. It's scary how fast time passes, but it was so nice to sit and talk over good food and hear what they both had been up to lately. They are marching toward a new phase in their lives, and it makes me feel...well, frankly, it makes me feel old. But regardless, I like the idea that the classroom brought us together at one point, and that the lessons we learned there might bring us together again in the future.

I wonder if this is why some people choose to become teachers—not just the "teaching" and the "learning" ("Oh, I learn so much from my students," blah blah), but the possibilities of seeing people not within relations of teachers/students but...look, we have this time that we spend together in this room that's meant for learning, education, discipline...and yes, at the end of the day I will give you a grade and you cannot change or challenge it...but I know things that you don't, and you know things that I don't, and maybe we can take a few moments each time we meet and share them, so that we come out a little bit wiser, a little bit stronger, because of it all.

Who knows. We can't all be O Captain! My Captain! like Robin Williams, but I suppose some of us can choose to aim for that. At the least I am ecstatic that I am not teaching in a country that mandates a very clear (and oppressive) hierarchy between teachers and students. Yes, Japan. I am talking about you.

So, the above is a photo of one of my students, or at least, it's a photo of her fist. She hates pictures but I wanted to take one, so we arrived at a compromise. Like what any teacher/student relationship should be all about.

Goat!

Today we got together to celebrate a friend's (belated) birthday over dinner. This friend happens to be someone who made me gluten-free hamburgers (buns and patties!) from scratch, so the pressure was on to make something nice in return. Buddy made a lovely (and very spicy) pumpkin curry from the gourds we'd gotten from our farm share the last couple of weeks. And I made cheesecake. A very dense, heavy, and rich cheesecake. So much so that I am dreading the leftovers in my fridge.

Who doesn't love cheesecake? Apparently Buddy doesn't, but he was gracious enough to serve and eat the darn thing. I got the recipe out of a little Nestlé brochure that incorporates one Nestlé product or another into every single recipe it has. (I wished I had a comparable brochure for Campbell's.) In order to complicate things, I decided to use half cream cheese and half goat cheese...and maple syrup instead of sugar...but other than that I did not have any strange substitutions. ::Whew::

Here is what happened: I took a bunch of (14 or so?) gluten-free chocolate cookie sandwiches (kind of like Oreos) and scraped off the frosting bit. (I did not eat the remaining frosting...though I really wanted to. Until I ate one. And then I didn't.) Then I crushed up the cookies, added some lemon-flavored olive oil and some maple syrup, pressed it into a glass pie dish, and stuck in the fridge. Crust done.

Next I took 8 oz. each of cream and goat cheeses (that had been sitting out on the kitchen counter for a while) and beat them up. Then I added about a 1/4 cup of maple syrup and 2 eggs. Then I melted some white chocolate chips (about 6 oz.?) over warm water and mixed it into the cheese. In went the vanilla extract. Then everything into the prepared chocolate crust. Thirty minutes at 375 ºF, and out came a (little bit too) browned goat cheese cake. (I didn't have any raspberries, so blackberries had to do for garnish.)

I think it was OK. It really was too rich, and I felt sick after my 45º piece. The red wine made it tolerable, but I really do wonder what the heck happened to make it so heavy. ::sigh::

Speaking of which, I am feeling very sleepy at the moment and am impressed that I remember the cooking steps so darn clearly. I heard that Asian people (and their livers) process alcohol differently, and that that's why we get such a thing as "Asian flush"...I wonder if that explains why I always get sleepy so much more easily than other people do at dinner parties...

金魚です！

昨日、ついに源吉兆庵の『金魚』を食べました。何を隠そう、これは七月に日本に行った時からのお土産——しかも賞味期限は２０１１年８月２３日！うひゃ〜、これは危ない。でもさすがに砂糖の量が多かったらしく、人体には差し障りが無い様でした。

 何と言っても、日本の和菓子は可愛い！この淡いオーガンザの茶巾袋も好きだけど、ゼリー自体が愛らしくて食べられませんでした。（なんて言いながら食べちゃったけどね。）説明書きには「レモン風味」って書いてあったけど、私が食べた時はなんとなくラムネの味がしたな〜。懐かしくて美味しかったわ。

こう言う繊細な和菓子も、日本の特徴なのだろうか。これから私が研究して行く『大和撫子とは？！』と言う質問も、やっぱりこの様な物を理解できる女性を前提とするのだろうか······

whisk + ladle = yum

Last night Buddy took me out to dinner at Whisknladle, one of our favorite restaurants in the San Diego/La Jolla area. Aaaaaahhhhh, soooo gooooooooood. We were celebrating the fact that we had gotten over one of our main deadlines (although we both have a couple more coming up). And what a way to celebrate, it was.

We first went to Whisknladle for Restaurant Week in fall of 2011, and we've been back multiple times ever since. (My parents also really like it there, which is quite a feat.) The food is consistently excellent and the staff is professional, helpful, and friendly. What more can we ask for?

Last night we started off with a Moroccan lamb soup that was spicy and fragrant and with just the right kind of mellow, smoky flavors. And it was so nice and warm. Really tender lamb with spices and black-eyed peas...yum. Which reminds me, it's getting into perfect soup season...

(Actually we'd started off with a glass of Merlot...essential. A little more savory than I'm used to, but it went well with the soup.)

Next we had a hunk of burrata cheese with amazing, amazing toast. It was a very thick slice of light bread brushed (or soaked?) in olive oil and toasted until the outside was crispy and the inside was as fluffy as if it had just come straight out of the oven. And accompanied by marinated shishito peppers and softened bell peppers over a blend of olive oil and balsamic vinegar? ::sigh:: We'll just have to try to replicate that at home some time.

Next we had buttermilk fried sweetbreads, with a lovely sauce colored pink from tender beets. I'm not a huge beet fan, but these beets last night tasted like candy. Or apples. (Maybe the latter is better.)

Around this time we got ourselves a glass of Riesling, in anticipation of the upcoming fish and the dessert course to follow. Thanks, Mr. Server guy, for the suggestion!

So yes, we got seared albacore with warm celery and beets (yet again) on the side. Ah, those celeries. I'm gonna have to pick some up at The Fruit Stand and see if I can make them at home. It all came on a little bit of mustard creme sauce. With mustard seeds, I guess, now that I think about it? Right, they couldn't have been poppy seeds... (And they were nice enough to split them onto two plates, even!)

We went all extravagant and got ourselves two desserts: pumpkin fritters (by recommendation of our server) and maple custard. Oh boy, they were both amazing. If I could cook at all I'd attempt one or the other (or both), but I'm just going to have to go back to eating at Whisknladle some other time instead.

What a perfect beginning to a perfect (long) weekend. Happy Veterans Day, everyone!

she should not have eaten them seeds.

One of our CSA boxes at the end of October contained a pomegranate, and since we were gone for that weekend I got around to opening it a number of days later. (Jack at my old work taught me to open pomegranates underwater...thanks for the tip, Jack!)

Pomegranates are one of those things of nature that amaze me every time I open them. I feel that way about other fruits too, like dragon fruits and kiwis. They look kind of suspicious on the outside (they have a hard shell, or spikes, or a fuzzy skin), but  when you open it it's just stunningly beautiful. (I was tempted to add cherimoyas to the list, but they look suspicious on the outside and the inside...) And pomegranates just taste so...good. They look like jewels, and they hit you with their tart bite. (I wonder if this valuation applies to people as well...)

Every time I think of pomegranates, I am always reminded of the Greek myth about Persephone and how she was abducted by Hades into the underworld. I liked how he made a deal with Persephone's mother to have her stay in the underworld six months out of year, on the account that she ate six pomegranate seeds. Huh?! How does that make sense? But he's cute, he must have really liked her and wanted her to stay with him.

That was the first Greek myth that I remember reading in English. I'd read a lot of Greek mythology as a kid in Japanese, but after I moved to the United States I had to learn how to say words like "Persephone" and "pomegranate"...

(I meant to take a landscape photo of the pomegranate seeds...but I guess I forgot to. Oh wells.)

the art is very wearable today.

Back in September Buddy and I took a trip to go visit the lovely Windy City. It was so much fun! Chicago feels different from other cities like San Francisco (my favorite) or New York (where we were just in June)—a little bit more quiet, maybe a bit older, calm and established, doing its own thing...

While we were there we went to the Art Institute of Chicago (where the lions are!) and there was an exhibition on kimono as art, titled (somewhat anticlimactically) Japanese Kimono, 1915–1940. The collection wasn't that large, but it had some interesting pieces with discussions about changing modes of design (influenced by modernization and the West, of course) and also of production and consumption. It made me think about the various ideas that each kimono piece signifies (ranging from the obvious, like class and marital status, to the perhaps a little less so, like the season or the occasion for which the kimono is being worn). Which reminds me...I need to learn how to wear a kimono so that I can do it by myself.

The exhibition ends this coming Sunday, and I'm really glad that Buddy and I went at the time that we did. There was also an overwhelming Chagall piece there titled America Windows, which left me slightly breathless. It was kind of intense. And very, very blue.

We also saw Cloud Gate at Millennium Park, of course...and the tall fountain that spits out water once in a while. Whee. :D

お久しぶり······

今さっき、日本から出張でアメリカに来てる友達に会いました。なんと、１０年ぶり！お互い全然変わってなくて、なんか笑っちゃいました。友達の先輩達も来てて、とても楽しい時間を過ごせました。

時間の都合もあって、T.G.I. フライデーズで会うことに。っと、日本にもあるんだってね。悪いことしちゃった。すまん！今度はもっと美味しい所に行こうね！

で、その友達がなんとお土産に、柚子茶をくれました！あ〜、幸せ〜。こう言うの、大好き。しかも、「とびっきりおいしい」って所が、とっても可愛いです。:)

早くお湯沸かして、飲みたいな〜。幸い、今夜は徹夜で仕事だから、その機会はたっぷりと······　嬉しいのやら、悲しいのやら············

fall harvest

A little while ago we got a pumpkin in our CSA box. That was a busy weekend for us, so we decided to put off doing anything with it...until now. And now, we still haven't quite figured out what to do with it.

Any suggestions? It's so cute, and I don't want to carve it, but it's so much more fun looking at it than (the thought of) eating it...

Coffee Blast

That's the flavor of Double Rainbow ice cream that is my boss's favorite. He and his partner used to get us all sorts of good food and wine to eat while we worked. Really, the best of employers.

Yesterday as we were walking home Buddy and I were talking about double rainbows (well...I was talking about the ice cream, he was talking about the phenomenon). When we got home and looked up, there it was—a double rainbow.

It must be a sign...which is good, because now that I am done with grading I have to write my paper that is due on Monday. And even though this paper isn't about rainbows (the previous paper was), they should still inspire me to do a good job.

(I like how things in our environment cause these little delights...)

how to be a 24-hour joint

On Wednesday I left campus rather late, so to make myself feel better I took a picture of Library Walk. Yeah, no idea how that logic works...

But seriously, can we, as members of society, ever take breaks? I get this feeling that, for many people, life is just an endless cycle of deadlines. (Well...I actually don't feel like that applies to me necessarily, but sometimes I do feel like taking a break.) If it isn't cycles of writing papers or grading, it's the necessity to pay bills, pay the rent, pay the mortgage...to go shopping so that the fridge is stocked, to sleep so that we don't break down, to change clothes so that we don't get treated badly by other clean, well-dressed people in the world. Wow, talk about demanding.

At least when I worked in an office I felt like I had weekends...although in hindsight, there are numerous occupations where you are on the clock 24-7, where there is really no weekend, where you are on-call even after you drive home...oh my, work (and the feeling of having to make money just to make ends meet) is oppressive.

I wonder, though, how this might differ specifically for people in academia. We're not really on anyone's clock, except for maybe the tenure clock. If we don't get our work done, the only people who suffer are...us (we? ourselves?). If we do badly, we're just letting ourselves down. Some people in academia probably don't even get paid that much. Working conditions may be less than ideal. There may be no health insurance. Maybe no job security. But still, the occupation of "teacher" (or even better, "professor") still remains a somewhat high-status occupation in the United States. So, are people in academic subject to this cycle of deadlines differently?

Why is it that we feel like we can't even take a break once in a while? (Of course there is the response that some people really like what they do for a living/job, and thus there is no need for breaks. Or there is the all-consuming "once I get tenure" mantra... Hmm, these questions are too complicated for my tiny brain right at this moment...

::sigh::

That's three deadlines down, three more to go...

Today I was a little bit more sleepy than the limit for being productive during the day, so after class I got myself a cup of mint mocha from The Art of Espresso (est. 1999, according to the paper sleeve—not sure if that warrants an explicit indication). I could have done with more sweetness, but it was a pick-me-up, and for that, perhaps the taste doesn't really matter...

While I was standing in line at the cart I entered into a conversation with the person standing behind me. It had been a while since I'd had a random friendly encounter like that. I feel like it used to happen more often, probably when I lived in San Francisco. I wonder if people in certain cities are more prone to interacting with people they don't know? Or maybe my encounter today was particular to me and the other person (who also was not American)? I am curious whether people in the U.S. are less inclined to have casual, friendly conversations while on queue...

and the crowd goes wild!

I'm looking forward to a work-filled week (as in..."I have work to do," not "I'll get a lot of work done"), but Buddy and I spent the weekend with my family to celebrate my dad's birthday, and upon returning we enjoyed the opening weekend of the new season with the La Jolla Symphony & Chorus.

What a way to kick off a season titled "Stravinsky Circus" (and spend Sunday afternoon)! Steven Schick (of red fish blue fish fame) conducted the performance, which itself was subtitled "The French Composer." It was everything I expected of LJSC...including the usual from the horns, but that's OK.

We started off with a short piece by Stravinsky that was my least favorite. I'm too simple-minded to be able to appreciate music without a clean, graspable melody. So by that standard, Symphonies of Wind Instruments was out (though it did remind me of just how lovely clarinets can sound).

Then we moved on to a Debussy piece titled...it's too long to remember what it's titled. But we had a special guest performer to play the harp, and I am convinced that when I have mastered the trumpet and the guitar, my next instrument is going to be the harp. It is a hulking instrument but it is so lovely (visually and sonically), and it has such a special place in my heart. It has such a warm sound...and the Debussy piece was lovely (and lovelily played).

The Mother Goose Suite was also lovely, a perfect rise and fall of movements. What do I remember from it...? Maybe I remember the bassoon and oboe here too, or maybe that was the whole performance...I think the entire performance I came to appreciate the un-sexy instruments, the ones that the relatively quiet, uncool kids play in middle school. (I was one of them.)

Everybody's favorite was The Rite of Spring, and it certainly deserved a standing O at the end. I think I was expecting something crazy and unpalatable (like the first piece of the program), but in fact it was so well put/pulled together, with the pieces falling gracefully into place. Schick was doing his usual swishing on the podium, and there was so much energy in the performance. I wished I knew more technical terms to describe the piece and the performance, but I must say, I really enjoyed it.

(I did fall asleep during The Rite of Spring, but that doesn't mean I couldn't hear it...I am known to fall asleep even at loud concerts. Apparently not even The Rite of Spring could stop me.)