子供の頃の夢は / Childhood

The other day I took a walk to my old elementary school (the last one out of four that I attended). The evening sky was lovely, the breeze cool and refreshing...

あまり「後悔」はしないけど、「今度はこうしてみようかな」と思う事はある。例えば、もしもう一度子供になれるのなら、もっと沢山本を読みたい。もっともっと沢山友達を作って、もっともっと遊びたい。公園に行ったり、自転車に乗ったり、なわとびしたり、お菓子作ったり。木に登ったり、雪合戦したり、虫捕まえたり、野原で駆けっこしたり。遊べ、子供よ！

人生計画 / Goals and Plans

おひさしぶりです！前回の記事から早くも一ヶ月が過ぎてしまいました。時間が経つのは、実に恐ろしい・・・それにしても、「日本での発見」のタイトルで当分の間記事が書けないのは、とても悲しいです。

しかし！いつまでも悲しんではいられません。と言う訳で、今日のテーマは「人生計画」です。ここ何週間かの間考えていた事を、今日は（自分の為にも）少しまとめてみます。

In the last few weeks I managed to fit most of my belongings into two suitcases and two utility bags...and now that I'm back in the States, I'm ready to start making some plans.

One of the reasons why I like setting goals is that it helps me to organize the thoughts in my head and find the throughline that guides the story of my life. Once I've found it (and it changes frequently) I can make plans to help me achieve the goals that surround it.

And as silly as it may seem, I turn to the idea of SMART goals when I'm setting goals and making plans:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Attainable
• Relevant
• Time-bound

I don't remember when I first heard that acronym, and I also realize that there are alternatives—but this is the set of words I use as my criteria. They force me to articulate what I want; keep me motivated; eliminate unnecessary stress; help me stay focused; and push me to actually get things done. I can break large projects into smaller steps, and I become better at assessing what my abilities are, what I can get done in what time frame. Knowing my limitations is as important as knowing my capabilities, I think.

As for now, the two main "goals" I have are 1) to defend my dissertation and 2) to find a job—but I also know that these two goals lead up to a larger, even more important goal and life plan that's waiting for me. There are other, related goals, of course—thinking about health and financial goals are always fun—which is why I think finding the throughline is so important for me. If I can see the big picture, then I won't crap out.

私が（ほぼ）毎日読むブログに、以前 TO DO リストの書き方に関する記事がありました。（あ、このブログ、真面目に言って、いつも読んでますよ。）ワタナベさんが書く様に、「優先順位」って重要だと思います。自分にとって、何が一番大切か。それは仕事だったり、家族だったり、自分の健康だったり。そしてその「人生の優先順位」が自分のゴールに反映されていれば、結構ゴールに辿り着くのは、早いかもしれません。だって、「自分との約束」だったら、破りたくないでしょ・・・

さぁ、皆さん。新しい門出です！これからの一、二、三年間が、どうかいい年月でありますように！

日本での発見 / Discoveries in Japan #44: イドリス・エルバ / Idris Elba

"One: Don't you ever touch me again. Two: Don't you ever touch me again." (Understood, sir...)

I realize that Idris Elba was in his early 30s when his character "Stringer" Bell was shot dead by Omar and Brother Mouzone in The Wire—but I admit, I did not recognize him until halfway through Pacific Rim. A man can change in nearly a decade, I suppose.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching Guillermo del Toro's Kaijū vs. Jaeger movie, but man—if I wanted to sit here (culturally) analyzing a filmic representation of an Orientalist love story where evil is conquered by nuclear power while racialized bodies are also conveniently eliminated, I need look no further. But hey, who am I to complain about 2+ hours worth of jolly good entertainment? (Plus the father-son farewell scene made me cry.) I also found the film to be visually spectacular (in all senses of the word)—if anyone can make a kaijū look both piss-in-your-pants chilling and breathtakingly beautiful, it's del Toro. (The Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth remains one of my favorite movie monsters.) Besides, watching Pacific Rim indirectly reminded me that I need to go and watch more episodes of Treme—since it's been generally acknowledged that David Simon is a genius. Hamsterdam...ha.

日本での発見 / Discoveries in Japan #43: 癒し / Relaxation

先週の発表が終わって以来、ここ数日間「癒し」がテーマになっております。特に昨日は、朝からマッサージに行ったり、美容院に行ったり、歯医者さんに行ったり・・・と、待てよ、歯医者さんって癒しの空間だったっけ・・・？

何しろ久々に友達に会ったり、人に肩叩いてもらったり、本読みながら「台湾ジャンボ唐揚げ」食べたり・・・気分はサイコーッ！って感じな筈なのに、実際心の中はモヤモヤだらけ。何故だろう。

訊かなくても分かってる。心配しても何も始まらないと頭では分かっていても、心配しない訳がない。この間々日本を離れていいのだろうか。（無事荷物はまとまるのだろうか！）やるべき研究はしたのだろうか。ちゃんとした論文が書けるのだろうか。仕事は見つかるのだろうか。考え出したら切りがない。

分かってる、分かってるって。なる様にしかならない、って。でもどんな楽天家でも、偶には不安やモヤモヤで心が一杯になるのさ！それくらいの事があったって、いいじゃない。無理しなくたって、いいじゃない。

と言う訳で、心をコントロールできない時は、できるだけ体をコントロールしましょう。こんな時にするべき事の（個人的）トップ３とは！

1. いい物を体に入れる！水分とって、栄養ある物食べて！（唐揚げは特別です。）
2. 寝る！寝る子は育つ！おまけに、寝る子は太らない！
3. 体を適度に動かす！こんな暑い中運動しなくていいから・・・机でストレッチしよう！

Indeed...I may not be able to stop myself from feeling uneasy or stressing out, but at least there are some things I can control. Much of the fun in life comes from the unexpectedness of things, the wonders of chance and surprise. And for that, I'll happily maintain a semblance of a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

日本での発見 / Discoveries in Japan #42: アロマ / Aroma

本日は久々に会う友達とゆったりとしたランチを頂きました。八王子の「天正庵」にて、視覚も味覚も喜ぶ日替わりランチを前に、思わず二人共溜息・・・

サイトによると、天正庵は「日本茶インストラクターでソムリエ、シニアクラスバーテンダー、日本酒利き酒師、チーズコーディネーター、アロマテラピーアドバイザーでもある店主が経営している和カフェ」であるらしい。思わず、"Wh-, what?!" と言う感じになるが、ま〜納得できる理由で色々な道を歩いて来ているみたいだから、ある意味とても羨ましい。

暑い日のデザートは、勿論大人のかき氷！シロップは二人でバイオレットとバジルとの間で迷い、店主さんに両方嗅がせて頂きました。ん〜、バイオレットは甘くて懐かしい香り、バジルは思ったよりミントのノートが強かったな〜。最終的には、二人で一つずつ・・・美味しかった〜。

The other day I was reading a book about giving massages using massage oils and essential oils—and I realized that I'd been out of touch with aromatherapy during most of this year. I think that explains a lot of my recent bodily imbalances—no candle in my room for months, no diffuser to cast shadows on my wall...

I miss the uplifting scent of palmarosa, the romantic and slightly sexy scent of rosewood. I miss the kick of patchouli, a reminder of my friend who wears it in her hair. I even miss (over-commercialized) lavender, not the fake, artificial lavender in soaps sold in most stores, but the real, earthy, enveloping scent of lavender that both relaxes and enlivens. Ah, the wonders that different aromas can do for the mind and body...

Maybe for the next few weeks I can fill a little plate with baking soda and some geranium essential oil to get my system to think happy, bright thoughts—a different kind of warmth from this crazy summer heat.

日本での発見 / Discoveries in Japan #41: 発表 / Presentation

The bookstore attached to my train station has a weekly updated ranking for books divided by genre, and last week I wondered if any of them were available to borrow from my local library. I wanted to read『トヨタの片づけ』actually, but that was a no-go—checked out and too many people in front of me in the reservation line. The other books were also either checked out or not in the library—except for this one, about the magical ways to get over your fear of talking in front of people.

I don't necessarily have that problem, but since it was the only book available, I thought it couldn't hurt to read it on the train. (Plus I have presentation on Friday! Perfect timing!)

Much of the book discussed ways to get your brain to start processing (and then overcoming) your past traumas that made you dislike talking in front of people, and then to visualize yourself enjoying and succeeding at it instead. And while I may not necessarily lie there chanting "I am awesome, I am awesome" before I go to sleep at night (well, I may, but it won't be because I'm afraid of talking in front of people), there were three tips I took away from the book.

1. Visualize yourself in a positive manner—things about yourself that you dislike, think of their alternatives that you do like, and then visualize yourself as having those qualities instead. And your shortcomings? Try to spin as them as positives!
2. Express thanks in having the opportunity to present—and for having an audience to listen to you. Out loud, at the beginning.
3. Imagine your head and shoulders as being stuck to a hanger—and when you turn your body, turn the whole hanger, not just the hook (i.e., your head). You look more...calm. (And sexy. (And like you have a stiff back.))

Those are probably not things that the writer intended for me to take away, but that's OK, she's not here. And while these tips may not help me with Friday's presentation, I feel more positive just having read the book!

しかし、日本の本はやたらと余白が多い。本を一冊、森下へ行って帰ってくるまでの間に読み終わってしまった。まるで小学生時代のティーンズ・ハートみたいだ。これでは資源の無駄遣いではなかろうか・・・

日本での発見 / Discoveries in Japan #40: 調味料 / Condiments

I just received the second-to-last delivery from my co-op. And whaddya know—two packets of blueberries, lots of tomatoes, and a bag of okras (along with a rice flour roll cake)! I couldn't be more excited for my summer o' plenty.

Being in a "use up everything in the fridge" mode, I'm currently down to a minimum when it comes to condiments—though I suppose turmeric, mirin, and nam pla will definitely get me places. The thing about summer is that 1) I don't feel like cooking, and 2) produce is so delicious it doesn't need to be seasoned much. I suppose, as they say: "Hunger is the best sauce." Cheers to that.