Grad School Awesomeness #4: On Mentors and Committees

I remember my friends talking about how asking a professor to be on their committee was like making a marriage proposal. I guess that depends on what kind of marriage proposal you're into, but I agree that the makeup of the committee can be significant in the lives of grad students.

While "the committee" and its formation are unique to each, I've come to terms with a few things about them over the years (and am a little bit wiser for them):

1. Your advisor, chair, and mentor can all be different people. You're probably assigned a first-year mentor/advisor based on what you write in your application, but that person doesn't have to be your chair (or even co-chair) when you write your dissertation. Nor should you expect that person necessarily to be your mentor—the person who actually mentors you through your intellectual and professional development, with an eye to what's good for you as a young scholar. You don't have to expect all of these things from just one person. 
2. Your favorite prof doesn't have to be on your committee. Sometimes it's better not to have your most favorite awesomest mentor-est professor on your dissertation committee, especially given the drama and unpleasantness that can be involved in the Ph.D. process. That way you can still have that mentor to go and talk with about all the things going on in your grad school life, without having that person be involved in the messiness of revising, applying to jobs/fellowships, etc. It's very comforting to have that neutral space. 
3. Your favorite prof may not be other people's favorite prof. This is obvious, but a professor who is good to you—reads your drafts, gives you advice on jobs, helps you get funding—may not be the same way to your friends. So don't go off being a jerk about it, talking about how awesome this prof is with people who don't share your sentiments. Just like you can't be nice to everyone, profs can't be nice to all grad students equally, either. On the flip side, if you know a prof who is being a jerk to you, understand that maybe that prof is spending time and energy supporting and mentoring someone else. And that's OK too.

The wonderful thing about writing a dissertation is that so much of it is influenced by...everything. And that the work you produce is possible because of the committee you have—whether for better or for worse—is kind of cool. Having a different committee would influence you to write a different dissertation, of course—but no matter what, it's your dissertation, something that you can be proud of regardless of what committee members' names are on the first page.