I Don't Recommend This Book, but

In the third year of my Ph.D. program I stopped buying books. I'd imagine I had a really good rationale behind that decision, but I just can't remember it at this very moment.

Anyway, while ABD I mainly read books that I borrowed from either the library or people I knew. (Or I made my eyeballs bleed by reading electronic versions. ::sigh::) As evidenced by my post about Jeanette Winterson's Lighthousekeeping, this "no book buying" trend continues.

Of course, summertime means family time, and family time means my sister lending me books. And we all know my sister only reads books with covers that are mostly pink.

Her latest loan is Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling. I admit, I've never seen a single episode of the U.S. version of The Office. (Chillax—I do own the British version.) I've also never seen a single episode of The Mindy Project. I have, however, read Kaling's essay "Types of Women in Romantic Comedies Who Are Not Real". I find many things in her book to be funny; I just don't care for her writing. Maybe I would like the jokes on her show, just not how they're told.

In other words, I wouldn't necessarily recommend this book to people (unless, of course, their sisters were lending it to them). But there were a few bits in it that really struck me.

1. Stress is not a legitimate topic of conversation. Kaling describes this sentiment as having come from growing up a child of immigrant professionals, where her parents (doctor and architect) worked and commuted long hours while making sure their kids had at least one parent at home at all times. Sure, there are many things about class and race to dissect here, but I kind of agree with her sentiment: we're all busy in our own ways, and we're all stressed out to a certain extent at different times. And maybe that's why you don't get to sit there complaining like your stress somehow excuses you from doing your part so that other people can get through their day too.
2. It's nice when a guy gets a little jealous now and then. OK, the heteronormative assumption is a bit disturbing in this book, but I'm going to ride its wave: I would freak out if my partner were as jealous as I am, because I am an insanely jealous person. But maybe that's why I kind of appreciate it when my partner does get jealous—I think like, "Hey, maybe he likes me and thinks I'm cool enough that he'd be upset if someone else made a pass at me". What a confidence booster that can be.
3. Adults should date adults. I'm paraphrasing here, because what she (really) implies is "Women should date men (not boys)". But whatever. I do, nonetheless, appreciate the things she says about what men do, which include: knowing what they want, making concrete plans, making reservations, going in for a kiss without giving "some long preamble about how they're thinking of kissing you". Essentially she gives points to people who aren't afraid of commitment—not necessarily to a romantic relationship, but to life in general: where they live and what they do to make a living. After all, if those are the types of commitments one person in the relationship is making, then it would probably make for a good balance for the other person to be making similar commitments as well.  

Next I'm reading a couple of books that I'm borrowing from my mum, which means they're in Japanese and probably about nutrition or finding happiness or whatever. But it's cool, because it's summertime—which means lots of time for non-reserach-related reading.