Microwaveable (or Microwavable?) Fish

That's right. This morning I woke up and, like the true Japanese that I am, had microwaveable fish. You just take the plastic tray with the saran wrap and nuke it for two minutes. And there you have it, a nicely golden, fully-flavored fish. For convenience, you've really gotta hand it to them Japanese food scientists.

[Actually I'd meant to have it for dinner last night, but I forgot to defrost it. And it's got two servings! So I'm having some for lunch before my Chinese final (for which I should be studying).]

Last night and the night before I fell asleep on my couch and woke up in the middle of the night just to move to my bed. Man, this unproductivity business is blowing my mind...

[Photo: Is there fish in Lake Ontario?]

The Art of Sleep

I have been sleeping in a bed consistently since the night of Thursday, March 15. I don't remember about the night of the 14th. I might have slept in a bed that night, but it's too long ago now for me to recall.

For a while at the beginning of the quarter (and even last quarter) I was doing all right with treating my body well—good sleep, good food, good exercise. (OK, well, that third one might be a fib.) But then my time management skills that I was attempting to develop shriveled, after which I had to throw them out the window. Hence, many nights spent sleeping on my comfy couch instead of in my even comfier bed.

But I have to be honest: I'm not young any more. I can't live like I used to live when I was an undergrad, falling asleep on my futon (rather than in bed) with my door open, my residents wondering whether they should wake me up or close my door. (They really were a considerate bunch.) I have to actually sleep more comfortably to get good sleep, so that I am energized and refreshed to start work again in the morning. Ah, the predicaments of aging—need for labor (?) without the able body (?) to produce it.

And of course it's not just sleep. I have to get back into my cooking routine, so that I don't use my lack of time as an excuse to eat like I am on an episode of Chopped every night. (Actually, if I even get around to playing the Chopped game, rather than making do with whatever is lying around, that is one of the better nights.)

And whereas my walking and almost-regular stretching don't hurt, I probably should make sure that my bones don't crumble in the next six years or so. More calcium, more strengthening. Time is always, always ticking...and I suppose, with our (healthy) bodies the only things we have to live by, we have to take as good care of them as we can.

[A side alley in Downtown Toronto...it was foggy, and the setting sun was eerily brilliant...]

Neck pain...

I am starting to believe that maintaining the right posture will enable me to make productive use of my time. I am also starting to believe that it will make my neck pain go away.

I'm trying to make better use of my time this year, though so far it's been a real hit-or-miss. But last night I stayed on campus until about 7 PM (on a Friday!)...now, that seems like a relatively productive thing to do, don't you?

Of course, it doesn't help that I was sitting in my office crying because I was watching an incredibly moving movie (no pun intended) on which I have to write a composition for my Korean class. Though now I wished that I had watched it with subtitles...

But really, what counts as productive use of time? If I work all day and not play at all, is that productive? If I read all day but don't produce a single word of writing, is that unproductive? Ah, the standards of measurement...

Yesterday as I walked to school, I really felt like Spring was starting. I did! The air really did feel that way. I even took a picture of a tree on my way to school because I looked up and saw how pretty it was. (It was much prettier in real life...) But I can argue that stopping in my tracks and looking up at the sky is an unproductive use of time...because I could be getting to school faster and producing more work (whatever that means). But...being caught by surprise by something beautiful that had, in fact, always been there...isn't that the real productive use of time?

[I really do think that sitting at the table to maintain a good posture will prevent me from falling asleep (like I do on the couch)...so yes, posture = productivity.]

Hunting for Goodwill

I am going through the process of cleaning things off of my table at the moment, in accordance with New Year's Resolution #1: Simplify my life. And that means I finally managed to finish reading the program I picked up at the performance of Cloud Gate 2 at Mandeville Auditorium on 2012 February 22, Wednesday.

The performance was incredible in several different ways, and I am glad I got to see it. (I'm also unhappy that I only stayed until intermission...but with my resolution to simplify my life, I hope that in the future I will not have to forsake such a wonderful performance for things like reading for class, grading papers, etc.)

Cloud Gate 2 is a dance company founded by the founder of the original Cloud Gate, Lin Hwa-min, and the late choreographer and dancer for Cloud Gate, Lo Man-fei. Cloud Gate 2 showcases young choreographers and dancers, and lucky for me, through the ArtPower! series, the performance was accessible even for a grad student like me living in southern California.

The three pieces I saw ("Wicked Fish," "Tantalus," and "Passage") were intricate yet simple. I mean, there were many, many details to each piece—and yet they fit together so nicely, the attention paid to each aspect of the complicated choreography so meticulous, that it was like watching one smooth mass of...well, maybe a really dark and creepily beautiful cloud. Forming. Moving. Looming over you and yet always on its way somewhere else.

Ah, the magic of "keep it simple, stupid." That's what I need to do with my life (and, most notably, my apartment). I am donating to Goodwill clothes I don't need that can still be worn, books that I won't use for research (since most books are accessible from one channel or another nowadays), and other items that I hope someone else can use—because I sure have too much stuff lying around that isn't contributing to my life in any way.

I'm embracing the spirit of the 100 Thing Challenge, which means I won't necessarily reduce my belongings to 100 things, but I will think about what's important in my life so that I can devote more time and energy to those priorities. And if I am lucky, sticking to this Resolution #1 will help me stick to the other four...

[A still from "Wicked Fish"...::sigh::]

writing...

...is supposed to help me heal the soul. I think.

I saw this fuzzy plant yesterday (though only the newer leaves, I think, were fuzzy), and I thought it was cute. The photo's a bit overexposed, but it gives me a happy feeling.

Right now I'm attempting to read up on cultural critique in Japan. What an odd feeling. I should know more the vocabulary that is used by cultural critics/social theorists in Japan, but I'm still only managing to translate them inside my head. The really jingo-heavy ones will just have to wait...

But then, most of the jingo is just Western words transliterated into katakana, so maybe it's not so hard. What is up with Japanese theory anyway? It really is a case in which everything is so heavily Westernized...

The Year of the Dragon

This year is going to be the best one yet. I can just feel it. You know why? Because this year, finally, I am actually sticking to my new year's resolutions.

But before I get on to talking about my new year's resolutions, I just want to ruminate a bit on writing a blog. Right now I've got blogs out my ears, which makes me rethink the reason I returned to Blogger in the first place. But then I remember that I have kept journals since I was young, since when I was in elementary school in Riverside, around 10 or 11. (I can verify this, since my journals are all sitting in my bookshelf back at my parents' house.) The point, I guess, is that I've always found it helpful to write down my thoughts, my anxieties, my hopes—particularly if no one read them, since that would make me write more honestly.

Writing a blog isn't much different from writing a personal diary or a journal, since no one reads this blog except for me. But I suppose it makes me feel more accountable for what I say. And so: I am going to use this blog from now on to commit myself to things. Like: I shall practice writing in languages here, since even if no one reads it, it is still embarrassing to write stuff that is filled with simple grammatical errors.

(I also want to write more about the history of journal writing, soon, soon. I've already downloaded scholarly articles and looked up books about this topic...)

Now. My resolutions.

1. Simplify my life
2. Make productive use of time
3. Treat my body well
4. Spend good time with good people
5. Use language carefully

I spent a minute or two rearranging the order of the above resolutions. That alone was an interesting exercise. This is a busy but exciting quarter for me, and through it all I want to come back to writing about each one of those resolutions. What they mean, and why I have them.

After all, as E.M. Forster once said, "How can I tell what I think until I can see what I say?"

Not a Care in the World

I should really be working on a paper that is due in four days, but I am such a happy-go-lucky person that I just don't care.

A couple of days ago I had someone say that it must be nice just to care about myself. And then that same day I had lunch with a friend where I felt like I must be a really dense and insensitive person.

People have so many things to worry about—family, work, finances—but I guess I am incredibly privileged that I do not share those same concerns. I have a sister with an amazing baby and parents who are supportive yet give me my independence, I graduated from college, I worked some, I'm in grad school now with a job that pays enough for me to live comfortably in a city like La Jolla. And I get to read books for a living. What the hell? I obviously have nothing about which I could possibly be anxious or unhappy.

Hmm. Actually, yeah. I don't really have much over which to be anxious or unhappy. Except maybe not quite knowing whether or not I can eat cookies. Yup, that's about it.

[I made some lovely ginger tea the other night. (Well, I had to...my ginger was going bad.) I sliced up what ginger I had and stuck it in a pot with a stick of cinnamon and some water. Brought it to a boil and simmered for about 7 minutes. (I think I can also bring the water to boil first, and then add the ginger and cinnamon...) Added some maple syrup (which is optional, and yet not) and enjoyed. Aaaaahhhhh.]